You never own a cat, you just learn to get along with each other.

Sylvester kept scratching in his litter box. Over and over and over and over. What makes the situation maddening is that he kept doing it in the night. The incessant scratching, scraping and tearing of the litter box liner is enough to drive a person to the brink of insanity when they’re trying to sleep. I knew right away that the reason for this had to be a UTI. After a visit to the vet, it was discovered that he had no infection, blockages or any other problems; purely a psychological problem. The veterinarian assured us that the “idiopathic” condition was actually quite common. How do we fix this? Well, first of all, I find out that all stress must be reduced from his life. STRESS? Are you kidding me?! What the hell is stressful about sleeping in the sun and eating when you feel like it without worrying about weight gain? Following the veterinarian’s recommendations I made sure that Sylvester had access to see out all windows to enjoy unobstructed views of the outdoors. He is to receive full attention when he asks for it. After three weeks of telling Sylvester how much I love him and that he IS good enough, smart enough and that people like him, the symptoms returned. So back to a different veterinarian we go. One urinalysis later, the other vet explains that there’s a UTI. He recommends amoxicillin. Luckily, I had some stuck up in the medicine cupboard from Mexico. Nothing says I’m cheap like breaking open amoxicillin capsules from Tijuana and dividing the contents with a razor blade into what you think is the right dosage, mixing it with fruit juice and squirting it into the back of your cats’ throat while holding him down in the corner of the bathroom. In addition to the medicine, I have been told through many different sources that if I want this problem to cease, whether idiopathic or otherwise, I must do the following:

-each of my two cats must have their own litter box

-provide plenty of distilled water from the freshest source

-maintain a perfect view from every window

-use a combination of wet food and dry

-feed him cat food that you must have a prescription from the vet to purchase ($$$$)

-allow him to spend time outside AND inside when he chooses

-give him anti-anxiety/psychotropic drugs

So there I am, at Wal-Mart with my cart full of stimulating new toys, a new litter box, multiple bags of cat litter, a water fountain for cats that circulates the water through a filter and keeps it purified, supplements and treats. As I wandered up and down the aisles looking for anything else I should grab, my mind raced back to when I got Sylvester. I clearly remember the morning I told my then-boyfriend that I wanted to go get a cat. It was something like this: “I just love cats, they are so easy to maintain. They practically care for themselves!”